"My ideas usually come not at my desk writing but in the midst of living." Anais Nin
It was night but it does not make any difference. Last month, last week, yesterday, today and certainly will be tomorrow. It seemed like every boy that her amber eyes have meet was him. Maybe it was nothing special, but they made her feel admired, alive. Over the time living hidden in a shadow, enveloped everywhere. If you want to try to look for her, you could not possible find her, no. Dejected and hidden, waiting for each day to cross monotonous just like the other. Until one evening when she feels the presence of something, something that makes the invisible spell disappear; in her mind and others. The first time they fought. He did not want to touch the light skin, sensitivity was increased. But he kept insisting. In a smoke-filled club where young people barely managed to slip longer, two black eyes that pierced the impenetrable suddenly appeared.
Lily was a conscientious girl. Coming from a modest family and a working life, have taught her that you must know what you want and also you have to fight for what you want or what you have. As a result of failures she decided to be alone for a while, to become independent and later to act for the other stages of life.
It was a time when Lily was looking for love, but after a while, tired of so much searching she dropped. It was not her time, her moment. Only. It was and has always been so. Losing a parent has changed something in her, leaving a void that could be filled with nothing but solitude. And this loneliness has infested more and more her body each day, that she has come to not feel anything at all. If there was one thing she was afraid… that was it. Loneliness . Contrary to this, she had embraced it more and more every day. It was her confidante, her support. It was her. She was her own person.
She became so lonely that no affection could be possible felt. It was like a fortress. Tried to enter into her soul to make a place, to show her the beauty of life, trying to show things and not feel anything special,
The worst feeling was when she realizes it. For a day or two, was crucial. She knew what she was doing to reject any sign of attachment but she could not help it. And she felt so alone that she wanted to have someone beside her.
Still, in her head all things were in control.
There were so many years since she was bound to the feeling.
It has to change. She knows it, but her hands were tied. It’s like you’re trying to do something but you could not move a muscle.
The first time she saw him, he was standing with some buddies from high school in a club.